Stupid animal party tricks for bright humans

Good Morning and get off my feet. I reckon it's time for a break from the Christian freaks from the previous post so here are some nice photo type images from my reality. Ahhh my reality, just like yours but with more fat.

Below are some photos of little Clair Robertson's Fifth Birthday party and a couple from a very brief trip to Sydney for the day with fellow dog botherer and chum, Ric Woods.

Clair is the daughter and racing tipster of my mate Dougie Robertson, a stout young fellow who I rescued from a drain while he was trying to drown kittens in a `Bi-lo' plastic shopping bag. The kittens had unexpectedly fought back and overpowered him. He was a goner until I turned up and like many of my friends, he's been eternally grateful that he knows me.

Doug finally gets the news that the Greek Island of Lesbos isn't all he imagined it to be.
Gumpins arrive and the tone of the party settles quickly.

Meridith Baxter-Birney of `Who's the Boss?' fame recounts a story for the kiddies of her backstage fun with a young Michael J Fox before it became too hard to understand what the hell he was talking about. I mean really! He's meant to be a professional.

Young human children congregate and travel in packs together from a young age. Most wear party hats while stalking their prey and are deceptively cute looking until they are tearing the flesh from your throat while you're still alive and screaming vainly for your mother.
Clair thanks her mother for the raffle ticket. Sadly though, there was to be no meat tray for the little one that night.

Heavy Weight Boxing Trainer and Cake Decorator, Kate `Meat Gravy' Brady enjoys the party with a suspicious eye on the youngsters.

Clair wishes as much as any little girl can wish, (which is quite a lot), for a real live pink pony with a flouro green mane to be in the tiny package at her feet.

Nerida Buttress-Tickle of Medowie Heights and her amazing expandable gob. Strangely, Nerida can also get a strong Digital TV signal when pointed in the right direction.

The young daughter runs at a leisurely pace and with no small amount of indifference toward the far too eager arms of the father figure.

Wendy Gumpin has no idea how she got here or why. She does however make a lemonade guaranteed to make someone with even the widest, happiest mouth, collapse in on itself like a cats bum crossed with a black hole.

Menacing looks for the camera from the radicalized members of the Country Women's Association of Cooks Hill.

If you wake up one night and this is the first thing you see. Get up and run as far away as fast as you can! For godsake, don't look back - there's nothing you can do for your family now. Move on, invent a new identity and forget the real you ever existed. Don't think. Just do.

Ric Woods, standing member for the Federal seat of Sittingdown (up the road from Slightlean). Policy platform consists entirely of marshmallow and those little chocolate bud things you get on the top of those yummmy cream cakes you get from the Mall.
Ross CarrollComment